Smooth Moves Page 18
The days away from her had only increased his need for the woman. But at least that hunger went both ways. Seconds after he’d opened the door to her, she’d given him a kiss that had melted his brain.
He sighed. What could he do? He was so into this chick it hurt, yet he noticed she’d been holding herself back. He’d sensed a problem over the phone on Thursday, but she acted like nothing bothered her, and he had to respect her wishes to keep things as casual as she wanted.
But tonight, with Reid shacking up with Naomi and Rafi spending the night with his friend, the one Jordan tolerated, Cash had her all to himself. Time to bombard that emotional blockade of hers. Reid, even Evan, would slyly prod for answers, hurdling obstacles. Not Cash. He believed in annihilating problems head-on.
The niggle of doubt that she’d already had enough of him and wanted to move on but was afraid to tell him had disappeared the moment she’d kissed him.
When Mariah had wanted nothing to do with him, she’d left. No kisses, no passion. And no more bank account, but whatever. Cash had money in the bank again, and Jordan wasn’t the type to sleep with a guy for what he could give her. Of that he had no doubt.
She rejoined him, wearing one of his shirts. The thing came to her knees but molded to her breasts, and he’d never envied a piece of clothing more.
He patted the bed beside him. “Come here.”
She sat next to him, her back against the headboard, and crossed her ankles. “Thanks, Conan. I like your taste in clothing.”
He grinned. “Anything for you, Ms. Fleming.”
“That’s Staff Sergeant Fleming to you.”
“Fine. You can call me Conan. Or Gunny or Master. Your call.”
She rolled her eyes.
He wanted to kiss her, so he did. He pulled away, pleased to see her eyes cloudy with lust. “So tell me. What has your panties in a knot? Because you haven’t been yourself since the Fourth. Did you miss me? Is that it? Well, it’s all better now, Sugar Lips. I’m here.”
She laughed, as he’d hoped she might, and relaxed. “You’re still such an ass. Your consistency helps.”
He smiled. “And I still have a big dick. You’re welcome.”
She laughed again then sighed. “I made a mess over July Fourth.” She ran through the day then mentioned Rafi not acting right.
“A mess,” he agreed. “Makes me glad my mom and dad are dead.”
She blinked. “I, ah, I’m sorry?”
“Nah. I told you they weren’t good at being parents. You have it bad, but different bad. Your mom and dad actually love you guys, they’re just not so good at handling your problems.”
She nodded. “I can’t believe they can’t see how bad military school would be for Rafi.”
He played devil’s advocate. “But would it be so bad?”
She stared at him with wide eyes. “How can you say that?”
“The military helped me. It helped you. All that structure and discipline.”
He could see her anger and braced himself, knowing she’d feel better after she let it out.
“Are you insane? First of all, you chose the military. You didn’t have anyone choosing it for you. And you joined the Marine Corps—the actual military, not a military school run by wannabe assholes who couldn’t hack it in the real world.”
“Ouch. You know this for a fact?”
“I did the math.” Which wasn’t exactly gleaning facts from research, but he let it slide. “I googled the school. The people there take troubled youths and mold them. But molding means they can do whatever the hell they want to these kids. Sounds more like brainwashing and abuse than discipline.”
“So Rafi stays with you.”
She nodded. “My parents are fine to let him stay with me, but it’s all on me. It sucks, I have to tell you. When he’s happy and the old Rafi, it’s not a problem, well, except that he never stops eating.”
Cash’s appetite had always been enormous, so he didn’t comment.
“But when he’s sarcastic and annoying—”
“Like looking into a mirror for you, huh?”
She shot him the finger, which made him laugh. “It’s tough to remember he needs my help and not a foot up his ass.”
“Which is why you’re such a great sister. You’re helping him.”
“Maybe.” She released a huge sigh. “And maybe their idea of having him get in line or deal with the consequences is right. Maybe this military academy would be a good thing and I’m full of worry. I mean, I didn’t actually see any accusations of abuse or wrongdoing online about the place. I just don’t have a good feeling.”
“Hmm. Why not check it out? I could go with you for moral support.”
“Thanks, but it’s in Pennsylvania.”
“Hell. On the East Coast? If he goes and ends up having a problem, he’s too far for you or your parents to just drive down there and get him.”
“Duh. I know that.”
“Okay, smartass.” He put her in a headlock, amused with her inability to get free. “So you’re still struggling with the whole Rafi deal. But there’s something else. Tell me what’s really bothering you.”
Her muffled “Besides the fact I have your nasty armpit in my face?” made him grin.
“Hey, I’m wearing the Seahawks. Be nice.” He let go, and she slapped his chest. “Ow.”
“That’s what you get.”
He laughed.
“I’m a mess, Cash. Lately, I feel so…not me.”
“Tell me about it.”
She glared.
“Jordan, that’s not me being sarcastic. I mean, sincerely, tell me about it.”
“Oh.” She lost her glare. “I would, but you wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“You always seem so sure of yourself. Even when it comes to getting in trouble, you don’t hesitate. Guy at the gym is getting a beatdown? You go in and knock some heads around. Smith is an asshole? You go at him, face-to-face, not scared of anything. But not me. I’m so unsure of everything lately.” She blinked, and he saw tears.
“Aw, hell. Jordan, talk to me.” He pulled her into his lap and rubbed her back while she cried onto his chest. He hadn’t thought anything could hurt so much, but feeling her tears pained him worse than being knocked in the head.
“I just feel lost. And stupid.”
“You’re the least stupid person I know.” He kissed the top of her head, wanting her to feel better.
“I don’t know what I’m doing with Rafi. He’s been secretive and off the past few days. I have no idea why. I was a shit to my perfect sister.” She hiccupped. “See? I’m being sarcastic about Leanne. And she’s never been anything but nice.”
“I hate nice people,” he grumbled.
Her laugh hitched and turned into a sob. “I was mean about her snotty fiancé.”
“He sounded like a dick.”
She clutched him tighter. “He so is. I hate his teeth and his Stanford education.”
“Me too.” His feelings for Jordan only grew. The woman handled herself at work, did her best by her family, and had helped him more than once, holding her own with him.
“And me. I’m so confused. I like my job with Vets on the Go!, but I know it’s not forever.”
His heart clenched hearing that.
“I don’t want to be sixty and still moving boxes.” She cried harder.
He rocked her, telling her everything would be okay, and let her cry it out.
“I just…I don’t know anything right now. I should be a retired Sergeant Major in another nine years. Instead I’m starting my life over at twenty-nine. I liked the Army, damn it. It’s not fair.” She cried some more until her sobs turned to whimpers.
Cash just held her, understanding so much and wishing he could make things better.
* * *
When Jordan woke, the room remained dark, and the snuggly heater behind her tightened the hug around her middle.
She blinked, feeling wrung out. Then she recalled crying her eyes out on Cash’s chest. God, how embarrassing. She had no idea how he’d feel about dealing with a neurotic woman with family issues.
But lying there, she remembered more. How he’d held her tenderly and stroked her hair. How his heartbeat had calmed her and how he’d kept telling her everything would be all right.
He hadn’t judged her, hadn’t told her what to do. He’d listened and been there—exactly what she’d needed.
She had no idea what to do about these feelings for him. In addition to her uncertainty came the confusing emotions for a man who could probably do a lot better than an ex-Army MP with nowhere to go.
Sure, she had options, but Jordan couldn’t do a whole hell of a lot with Rafi needing her. As much as she wanted to get her degree in…something, she had no time or energy for school, not until her brother was straightened out. Though she had a good fifteen years upon exiting the Army to use her GI Bill, she didn’t want to make any mistakes. With a limited reserve of money, she didn’t want to hurry into a degree she suddenly found herself not liking after graduation.
Her journey to self-discovery—Miriam notwithstanding, she thought and surprised herself with a grin—seemed on hold. Jordan didn’t like not following a specific timetable. She liked order and discipline. She liked having a plan and things making sense.
She put her hand over the strong arm holding her close. Cash she thought she understood. He’d had a crappy home life and had worked ever since to make himself better. He didn’t always make the best decisions, but those trials came from a good place, his intent always for the better of others. Giving, affectionate, and brash to hide that loving heart, Cash was a man who valued loyalty and integrity and gave what he got.
She could do so much worse.
And he could do so much better.
Was there a way they could meet in the middle? She’d told him she planned to keep him, blustering through a declaration in hopes she could bluff her way into being the confident, sexy woman she’d once been. And he’d bought it. But how long until he realized taking on Jordan meant taking on Rafi for the next two years as well as all her insecurities?
That she kept thinking long term unnerved her because Cash was a man others coveted. He commanded attention from his sheer size and manner. A natural leader and a natural heartbreaker.
Before last night’s meltdown, Jordan had been a woman who didn’t need protection. She’d guarded herself and wanted only an equal partner. Now, having exposed her vulnerabilities, part of her felt unworthy of someone so strong. While another wondered how he’d behave now that he’d seen her cry.
Jordan hated to cry, almost as much as she hated feeling like a failure. She knew making mistakes only helped prevent future failure, but that didn’t make the fall hurt any less. And, yes, she’d fallen. No longer an Army soldier. Now she was a civilian. An employee. A sister. A daughter.
And a lover to one sexy man who could have any woman he wanted. Why, then, did he want her? And why the hell am I so wussy about life right now? she asked herself angrily. Jordan didn’t mope. She didn’t have time for self-doubt, but she could allow that she’d earned a mini-breakdown. She hadn’t taken the time to realize all she’d lost after separating from the Army, and she’d been due. If only she hadn’t lost it with Cash.
As if he’d heard her thinking about him, he tightened his arm around her. “You okay?” came the gritty question.
She shivered, feeling her every nerve on end. Cash stirred, and he thickened against her bottom.
“I’m good. I think I fell asleep.”
“Yep.” He snuggled against her and sighed. “With me.”
Her heart raced. She wanted to show Cash how much it meant that he’d been there when she needed him. And, hell, she wanted him. She always wanted him. That sexy body did things to her, and adding that to his compassionate nature under the blustery exterior, it made him someone she couldn’t get out of her mind.
She reached behind her, angling her hand between them, and found his erection through his shorts. She gripped him then stroked, up and down, feeling him grow harder, hearing his breathing grow shallower.
“You hungry, baby?” he asked, his voice gritty.
“Maybe.” She wanted to feel him inside her, just him and her. Protected against pregnancy, though she hadn’t mentioned she was safe from babies, Jordan decided she fully trusted Cash, and she wanted all of him.
Just hers, for this night at least.
He kept saying he felt fine, and though she didn’t want to cause him any harm with his head injury, he seemed much better. Jordan slowly removed her clothes and tossed them to the floor. She turned and reached for him and found his sweatshirt had gone, so he must have taken it off before joining her in bed. But those shorts had to go. She tugged them and his underwear down his legs, aware Cash did nothing to stop her. Then she turned around, lying naked while he spooned her.
“Fuck, yeah. This is much better.” He kissed the back of her neck, that solid part of him insistent against her ass.
Jordan put her leg over his, opening herself, and angled back against him so that the tip of his shaft rested against her entrance. She eased back, and a small part of him inched inside.
Behind her, Cash had frozen, not moving a muscle. “You sure?” He kissed the back of her neck again, sliding her hair out of the way so he could kiss his way up her neck to her ear. “Want to grab me a condom?”
“No. I want you in me. All of you.”
“Jordan, I don’t know if I’ll stop in time.”
Now or never. “You don’t have to.” Such a huge silence fell between them. “I’m protected, and I trust you.”
He gave a long, drawn-out groan. “Man, I hate how perfect you are.”
She had no idea what that meant, but then she couldn’t think as he slowly slid inside her, the excitement and warmth of her body allowing him an easy though tight passage. With them lying on their sides, he felt huge and thick as he entered her, and the position made it difficult for him to truly move all the way in.
Then he raised her leg higher over his and pushed deeper, and they both gasped, shaken by the feel of him there.
“So fuckin’ good,” he whispered and began to move.
But he didn’t forget her. Cash reached around to her clit. The pressure of his fingers in time with his body inside hers took over every sense. In and out he slid while his skilled fingers played her. He cupped her breast with his other hand, his pelvis rocking against her. Faster, harder.
He rubbed her with increasing pressure as he pinched her nipple, and she cried out as an orgasm overpowered her.
Cash kept rubbing then shoved once more and groaned, shuddering as he filled her.
He murmured something against her shoulder and kissed her, still pumping those hips. And then he lay still.
After a moment, he spoke. “Am I dreaming?”
She smiled, felt him cup her breast, stroking with familiarity, and sighed. “I’m dreaming too. I came so hard.”
He groaned. “God, me too. All in you.” He withdrew a fraction before easing back into her and cursed. “I want you again. I have to have you.”
“No.” She pulled away and tried to bodily move him on top of her. When he finally moved where she wanted him, she gripped his slick cock, not surprised he remained half-hard. “I have to have you.”
“You do, huh?” He pushed himself inside her again and lay there, not
moving. The moon shifted behind some clouds and allowed a sliver of light into his bedroom. She saw him smile. “I think that can be arranged.”
Chapter 15
Cash felt like a new man Saturday afternoon as he and Reid went through their mom’s belongings. Nothing bothered him. Even being around Angela’s crap did nothing more than mildly annoy him that he wasn’t spending his weekend with Jordan.
Being with her last night, so intimately, had changed something between them.
And it wasn’t just coming inside her, though remembrances of their time together kept him continually hard and had forced him to wear jeans today. Being able to hold her while she cried, taking care of her, had eased something inside him. He’d been very careful to not treat her any differently when she’d left that morning, having spent the night. Another milestone that thrilled him to no end. Nor had he made a big deal about her being there when Reid popped by to pick him up.
Neither, fortunately for Reid’s health, had Reid.
“So.”
Here it came.
“You and Jordan together all night, huh?”
Cash groaned. “Do we have to talk about this? How about we play some music and finish putting all this shit outside?” Thanks to Jordan’s help, he’d made a few calls and had a donation truck prepared to swing by the next morning to pick up items for a shelter.
“Oh, we have to talk about it.” Reid grinned, his gray eyes sparkling. “How often do I get to give my brother the third degree about his love life?”
“At least I’ve always had one to get interrogated about.” A dumb retort, but it was all he had, his thoughts buried in images of Jordan’s smile.
And that was another thing. As much as he loved her body, Cash kept dwelling on her laugh. Her smile. How her eyes lit up when something surprised her. Her soft lips would part then thin into a firm line when he inevitably did something to piss her off.
The woman had the sexiest frown, and her growls made his heart race.