Bodywork Page 20

  “I can’t believe you would think I could do that to you,” he said quietly, feeling the hurt she must have been feeling. “I understand why you would, since my brother loves me and is a pretty decent kid. But we both know he’s told a few lies to get what he wants.”

  She opened her mouth—to argue, no doubt—then snapped it closed. “So you’re saying he made it all up? There’s no Megan, no gym, no affair?”

  “No. Megan’s real. She’s a groupie at the gym, and my brother had a thing for her big time until Maggie started working there. Now he’s into blondes. I’m surprised he didn’t use her instead of Megan as my supposed lover.” He wanted to hug Shelby and offer comfort. And he wanted to spank her for believing such terrible things about him. “What the hell did my brother say to convince you I was cheating with Megan, of all people?”

  Her eyes filled again. “It’s just… He said he wanted us to be together. That you were making a mistake with some gold digging witch,” she added nastily. “And that I should make a move to save you from yourself. Not those exact words, but that was the intent.”

  “And after fucking my brains out every time we make love, you thought I’d go to another woman?” His voice rose. “For what?”

  “How the hell should I know?” she cried. “Rick did it. Why wouldn’t you?”

  He figured as much. “Damn it, Shelby. I’m not Rick! I thought we’d been honest with each other. Lisa ripped my heart out when she cheated on me, and I never loved her as much as I do you.”

  Her eyes widened. “What?”

  “I love you, but God knows you don’t deserve it.” He fed the anger building inside him. “Do you have any idea how hard it’s been for me to trust you? Lisa lived with me. I saw her every fucking day, and she had an affair under my nose. But you and I don’t see each other as much, and it’s all I can do to convince you to spend a rare night at my place. You don’t want to tell anyone about us, and I’m trying to give you the space you asked for, but it’s fucking hard. Then you have the nerve to accuse me of cheating?” He paced around her dining room. “When would I have the time? When I’m not with you, I’m working out or doing one of three projects I’ve been assigned at work.”

  “I don’t know.” She sounded miserable.

  Good.

  “I trusted you before I ever saw your physical results. I trust that you’re on birth control, though I’ve never seen it. I trust that you’ll eventually tell me how you really feel about me, because I thought the way you responded in bed meant something.” And how wrong he’d been.

  “Shane. I’m sorry, but George—”

  “Is my brother. Yeah, I know. I also know if Maggie or Mac told me you’d been cheating, the first thing I’d do would be to hear your side of the story before accusing you of anything. And maybe I’m an asshole for believing in someone after being screwed over like I was, but I love you. You trust the people you love.” He let out a disgusted breath. “Obviously I’m the only one feeling that way.” He turned around and headed back out the door.

  “Shane, wait.”

  “Now I need time to cool off. I’ll talk to you later. Maybe. Fuck if I know.” He slammed out of the house, having said his piece. But he didn’t feel any better for it. Instead, he felt worse.

  * * *

  A week had passed, and Shane refused to talk to her. George had made an apology. Apparently the actor had thought he was doing Shane a favor. In what world that stupid story was a favor, Shelby had no idea. But he looked despondent about the whole thing, so she forgave him. It went without saying he broke up with Amber over the incident.

  Mimi Vanzant had been amazingly quiet about everything. She didn’t comment or criticize when the ugly mess poured out of Shelby one night at dinner. And Ron had been silent as well. For the pair of them to not offer advice was like entering her own little alternate universe, and their attempt at kindness made her cry more.

  Maggie, bless her, commiserated. Of course Shelby should have been hurt. Sure she’d believed Shane’s own flesh and blood. Why wouldn’t she? And Maggie wasn’t talking to Mac, though she continued to work for him. Mac had stupidly taken Shane’s side in this, and Maggie, loyal friend that she was, took Shelby’s.

  Shelby didn’t tell anyone, but she’d left a message for Shane to call her yesterday. He hadn’t responded yet.

  Another week went by without contact. She missed him. So much.

  No more wisecracks about her being a book nerd. No more arguments over what to watch. Now she had her choice of Lifetime movies but continued to linger over the stupid car channel, wondering if he was watching it. And she missed the intimacies they shared. He’d never made her feel ashamed for wanting exciting sex. For all that he loathed the word vanilla, their slow lovemaking, missionary style, often made her feel like a part of him. Like a real girlfriend and lover, half of a whole.

  It all wouldn’t have been so bad if she wasn’t aware she’d hurt him with her doubts. After all he’d been through, then she’d added to it, knowing what a bitch Lisa had been. She wanted to apologize again and make things right, but she also understood he needed to be alone. If only she’d trusted him more.

  No. If only she’d trusted herself.

  Days went by, until she realized it had been almost three weeks and no word from Shane. Her mother and Ron remained mute about the subject. Maggie wouldn’t speak his name, and George no longer visited her at work. Mac continued to come in for his weekly appointments, but he wisely refrained from mentioning Shane. Once he’d remarked that Shane looked like shit, and she’d let it stand, glad that he wasn’t living it up without her.

  Thursday, exactly three weeks after their huge blow up, arrived. The man was sulking. There was no other explanation for it, since he hadn’t called, texted or left her a message stating they were broken up, finished, kaput.

  Shelby had run the gamut from sadness to frustration to anger and back to grief. But three weeks? Enough was enough. It was one thing to be mad at her, but to withdraw completely from her life? So she’d made a mistake. She was human, and she was bound to screw up royally again. If he really loved her, as he’d claimed, he’d give her the chance to explain. That had been the point behind his upset, that she hadn’t trusted him. Well, now he was doing the same thing to her, not trusting her to come to her senses.

  She realized what she’d done to him, and she felt worse than awful.

  She didn’t leave a message on his home or cell phone. As soon as she finished work tonight, she planned to take control of the situation, because Shelby was a doer, and sitting around waiting for Shane to make a move was driving her insane.

  Denise had the day off and Ann finished her exercise ball class at noon. For three more hours Shelby saw clients then started to clean up. Before she could turn the sign over to Closed, the front door opened. Great. Another customer. She sighed and turned with her broom. And froze.

  Shane stood there in a suit, his tie loose around his neck, holding his suit jacket over his shoulder. He looked haggard… and so good to her she wanted to gobble him up. Instead she remained in place and waited for him to say something.

  He locked the door behind him and turned the sign to Closed. Then he walked past her, checked on the other rooms, and locked the back door. He didn’t speak, but entered her massage room, where she’d just finished changing the sheets. She had the bathroom to clean and laundry to do. But she couldn’t stop herself from following him around.

  Inside her room, he hung up his jacket, removed his tie, and rolled up his sleeves. Then he turned to her.

  “You look terrible.”

  She scowled. “Yeah, back at ya hot stuff.”

  He didn’t grin, but she the twitch at his lips set her at ease. “I’m here for my appointment.”

  “Funny, I don’t remember booking it.”

  “Denise booked it for me. She likes me.”

  Her temper got the better of her. “I like you, you jackass. I’ve been trying to talk to you for days but
you—What the hell are you doing?”

  He slathered her massage butter over his hands. “Strip and get on the table.”

  She blinked in confusion. “What?”

  “You heard me. I booked an hour and a half of your time.”

  “For a massage.”

  “I didn’t specify who was giving it. You look like crap. You’ve lost weight, and you’re too tense. Get naked and hop up here.”

  So much for some make-up sex to relieve at least one ache.

  He waited for her, one brow raised. So sexy and domineering. And like that, she missed him all over again. Blinking away the tears, she grumbled but dropped her broom, her clothes, and her pride, and moved belly-down onto the table.

  He put warm hands over her shoulders and rubbed, and she sighed through the opening of the pillow.

  “Okay. I’m ready to hear you now,” came his deep voice from far away.

  “Now?”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?” His hands moved to her neck, and she hysterically wondered if he meant to choke the answers out of her. But he only rubbed the tension from her aching body. She’d tried to work her way past the pain of his leaving when he wouldn’t talk to her. She’d earned more money, but she’d also worked herself to the bone.

  Weariness pulled at her.

  “I missed you, Shelby,” he said softly.

  “Oh hell.” She blinked hard and kept her eyes shut, hoping and praying she’d remain tear-free through her explanation. “I was falling in love with you, and it scared me, okay? So when George told me you were seeing someone else, it was easier to believe that and cut you loose than try to reason crap out.”

  His hands tightened over her arms then released, stimulating blood flow.

  “You’re pretty good at this.”

  “Keep going.”

  She groaned. She’d had weeks to think about what she’d done and why. “Isn’t it enough I’m sorry for not trusting you?”

  “No. I want to understand.”

  How could she fault him for that? “When Rick dumped me, I was floored. I really did love him, as least, I loved who I wanted him to be. He was funny and successful and handsome, and people liked him. But he wasn’t that nice to me. I didn’t notice it at first. But then I was too fat, too skinny, my makeup wasn’t right. I laughed too loud, was too aggressive. All of it delivered with a smile or a joke. I was tired of changing to please him.”

  “He was a dick,” Shane growled and ran his hands down her back.

  “I see that now. He lusted after Maggie and hated my mom and Ron. But I thought he’d grow to tolerate them for me. Instead I found him with a prettier, shorter, skinnier blonde sucking him off.”

  “Had to make you mad.”

  “I was humiliated. All the things he said about me not being good enough came back, and I ended us without a whimper. I just walked away. I had nothing at his place and he had nothing at mine. After a year of dating, I just walked away.” She remained silent for a moment, still stunned at that fact. “And then I was hurt. A lot. I hated men, I admit. But I started getting mad.”

  “Good. He was a horse’s ass.”

  She warmed at his support but needed to explain. “No, I was mad at me for putting up with his shit for so long. I hate to say this, because I sound like I need therapy, but I think it has to do with my dad leaving when I was a kid.”

  His hands changed direction on her back, moving back up in butterfly strokes. “Relax, Shelby. Just breathe.” He continued to work on her upper back and arms. “The thing about your dad… Once I calmed down, I thought a lot about why you went off on me. And after I talked to your mom about—”

  “What?” She started to rise from the table, wanting to see him, but he shoved her back down.

  “Just lay there, would you?”

  She didn’t want to upset him and have him leave again, so she stayed flat.

  “Anyway, your mother helped me understand a lot. But I wanted you to realize it too.”

  “Oh, so you being a martyr and staying away from me, after accusing me of not trusting you, that was for my own good?”

  “And mine.”

  She didn’t get that.

  He went to work on her feet, and she moaned at the heavenly touch.

  He chuckled. “I’ve missed that moan.”

  “Not as much as I’ve missed you.”

  He stopped for a moment.

  “What? You wanted honestly, you got it.”

  He rubbed again and spoke. “I like domesticity. When Lisa and I were a couple, it felt like home. No bars or wild orgies, no hanging from the chandelier. I guess I was too comfortable, in love with love more than I was in love with Lisa. And I was cheated on and nearly swindled by the woman. It made me question my judgment and shook my confidence.”

  “I never would have guessed. You seem self-assured to me.”

  “About my career or my ability to run a mile, yeah. But I move too fast in relationships. I realized that. I can’t just fuck and be done with it. I get attached.”

  “That means you’re not a horn dog like most of the men I know. Nothing wrong with that.”

  “But because of that, I moved too fast with you. I should have stuck around and heard you out. It hurt when you believed what George, that idiot, said about me. And he’s really, really sorry, by the way.”

  “I know. He told me.”

  “Good.” His tone was grim, but his hands were gentle as he ran them over her feet to her calves. “I’m sorry I took so long to hear you out, and that I wasn’t more understanding about what you heard. Hell, I went through Lisa’s infidelity. I should have been right there with you, understanding your concern. Instead I felt under attack. Honey, I’m the last guy to cheat on you. I might argue or leave your ass, but no way would I destroy your trust like that. I can’t stand it, and I won’t tolerate it.”

  “Neither will I.”

  “Yeah, I get that.”

  So where did that leave them?

  “Anyway, I got over my anger in a few days. But I needed to make sure I was doing the right thing with you. Loving you after a few months, that’s crazy, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “But it’s real.” He sounded surprised. “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. Work is killing me because I’m making so many mistakes it’s taking me forever to get it right before I turn my shit in. Even Gloria Grace is pitying me.”

  She chuckled, and it felt good to laugh. “Is that so?”

  “I wanted to come back to you whole and for the right reasons. I had to make sure I wasn’t just with you because that’s my M.O. with women. Have sex, date, move in together. But I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

  “Well, I wasn’t out screwing half the town while you were gone either.”

  “No kidding. Not with that bad energy, as your mother calls it.”

  She groaned.

  “Don’t worry. I like her and Ron, and they know where I stand.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “With you, baby. I’m here, aren’t I?”

  “So you forgive me, even though you admit I had a right to believe what George told me?”

  Shane snorted. “Isn’t that kind of an I told you so mixed in with a questioning apology?”

  “What?”

  “Never mind. Yes, I forgive you. Yes, in your shoes, I might have believed you’d fooled around if your own brother said so.”

  “Thank you.” Finally. Vindication and forgiveness. It was like Christmas come early.

  “But Shelby, I’ve been miserable without you.” He leaned closer and kissed the back of her neck. “I still love you.”

  She squirmed under him, her body reawakening to his touch. Though the massage had been relaxing, he’d also stirred her up just by being near. And those hands on her body… Their chemistry had yet to fade. If anything, distance made him more potent.

  “I love you too. You’re hearing me through this stupid pillow, right?”

  “Oh yeah.” He
paused for a few moments. She heard the rustle of clothing and prayed that meant what she thought it did. “This is going to be tricky, but I have confidence in you.”

  He massaged her buttocks. The deep rub was magical, and she moaned in pleasure and arousal as his thumbs pressed closer to her inner thighs, grazing her wet cleft.

  “You smell good,” he murmured and leaned down to kiss her neck again. Then he moved away. “Lift your head up.”

  She did and started to ask why when he suddenly grabbed her ankles. He tugged, pulling her back so that her pelvis rested against the end of the table. She felt off balanced and clutched at the sheets under her.

  “What are you doing?”

  “You in just a second.” He spread her legs and gripped her hips, pulling her back and slightly up, so that her pussy aligned with his cockhead. And then he thrust inside her.

  He drove so deep and hard, he shocked her into an immediate orgasm. As she keened and clamped down tight around him, he fucked her faster and shuddered.

  “Oh yeah. Coming hard, baby.” He jerked and continued to thrust, spilling into her with muttered words of love and distress that he’d come too soon.

  He remained locked inside her and leaned over her back. Planting small kisses along her spine, he had yet to grow slack inside her.

  “God, I missed you. So much. And not just your tight pussy.”

  “Or your thick cock.”

  His breath came faster. “Or your slick mouth. I haven’t come in anything but my hand once, and that was two days ago because I was so pent up with anger and frustration I couldn’t wait any longer. Damn it. I missed you.”

  He’d said that. But she liked him repeating it.

  “So what now?”

  “Now you know I love you, and I know you love me.” He sounded smug, but she’d grant he had a right to be, especially after giving her that rush. She felt so boneless she could barely breathe. “I’m probably moving too fast again, but I’ll trust you to slow me down.”

  “You’re good so far,” she said sleepily.

  “Great. Then I’ll tell you we’re dating. Committing only to each other. Boyfriend/girlfriend all the way, and I’m telling everyone I know.”