Ruining Mr. Perfect (The McCauley Brothers) Page 26
“That’s not true.”
“Not to hear him tell it. Boy had to beg you not to break up with him over the phone, tracked you down when you stopped taking his calls, then he finds out you’re pregnant and disgusted by the thought of carrying his kid.”
“Now that’s a downright lie,” she fumed. “Did he say that?”
James shrugged. “It’s what I heard. Didn’t say he told me that.”
“Who told you?”
“Beth, but Cam told her. Said you were sorry you were carrying his baby. Now any way you look at that, that ain’t right.”
“Damn it. I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant I was sorry about how all this turned out. I’m growing to love the idea of a little McCauley. One that won’t cheat at cards and cry on command like your other grandchild,” she said pointedly.
James grinned. “Love that kid. Little Colin keeps Mike on his toes. Trust me, you’ll have your hands full with that one.” He nodded at her flat belly. “Cam is no saint. Don’t believe half of what he tells you. Boy was a major pain in my ass growing up. The why years about killed me.”
She smirked before her smile faded. “Cameron is no longer talking to me.”
“Vanessa, Jesus. It’s been what? Two days since your last spat?”
“Three, technically,” she snapped. Counting today.
“When you weren’t talking to him, it didn’t stop him from finding you and settling your nonsense.”
“I don’t have ‘nonsense.’”
“Of course you do. You’re pregnant and all emotional. Yes, you.” He pointed at her, and she fought the urge not to lean over the table and bite his finger off. “See? All that anger. More so than usual. Normally I’d blame one of my sons for that. But there’s just you and me here, and I’m at my most charming. Beth has been working with me.” He smiled, and she totally understood what Beth McCauley saw in the guy. Under the bluster and the looks lurked a man with a big heart and the need to do right by those he loved.
She sighed. “Go ahead. Say what you came to say.”
“I’ll be blunt.”
“Please.”
“As I see it, you did nothing wrong.”
She blinked. “Really? You’re on my side?”
“Yeah. You needed time to adjust. But you know what? So does he. So I’m thinkin’, in Cam’s squirrelly head, you screwed up. Question is, are you woman enough to make it right? I know what it’s like to have made a mistake. Because I messed up big. You helped me get right. Now it’s your turn.”
“My turn?”
He drained his mug and put it in the sink. Then he left with a wave and a warning, “I think Beth’s coming over tomorrow evening to talk to you about a baby shower. But you didn’t hear that from me. So if you want to avoid baby talk, stay late at work.” He left her alone, and she sat and thought about what he’d said.
She still didn’t know how to patch things up with Cameron. Every time she thought she’d been doing better, really connecting, trying to take a chance, she screwed up. She’d tried to do right by him and end their relationship. He hadn’t let her. She’d avoided him so she wouldn’t regret saying something mean or acting out of jealousy. Yet he’d forced her to face her emotions and own them.
Seeing a trend yet, moron? She groaned as she realized she kept running away, and he kept doing the chasing. Nothing mature or stable about that. So why did Cameron continue to come after her?
“I loved you, Vanessa,” he’d said. Loved. Past tense. She still got chills thinking about that confession. And she still cried into her pillow at night when she thought she might have destroyed that love.
But hadn’t he also said that nothing she told him could make him change his feelings about her? Didn’t he owe it to her to at least hear her out? Maybe he did need space. She’d taken a good two weeks to adjust to the truth. He’d had two days. But so what?
She’d force him to listen. She still had his key, and he couldn’t avoid her forever. The problem wasn’t making him listen, it was in knowing what to say. How to convince him that she wouldn’t always be running away during the difficult times in their relationship, and that if she could love anyone, it would be him? Would that be enough for him?
Determined, she retrieved her laptop from her room and returned to the table. Then she started to write. After ten minutes of more of the same, she swore and yelled for her roommate—the writer. She’d damn well nail Cameron with eloquence. He was hers.
It was about time he realized it.
***
Mike stared at Cam sitting like a lump on his couch and did his best not to groan. Everyone wondered why he had no interest in dating again. Losing Lea had been bad enough, but all the bullshit drama he’d once gone through, jumping through hoops because of a woman… In truth, he had a hard time remembering why he’d thought it was worth it. Of course, if Lea was still alive, he’d do it all over again. A hundred times.
With a sigh, he joined his little brother on the couch.
“Dad, I’m going to be an uncle!” Colin danced around the room holding alien figurines he used to pretend-shoot each other. “Uncle Colin. Just like Uncle Cam and Ubie and Uncle Flynn.”
“Ah, not exactly. More like a cousin, son.” Mike glanced at Cam, not surprised to see his brother unsmiling. Friggin’ Vanessa and her control issues. Yeah, he’d heard an earful from his mother. The woman loved the idea of Cam and Vanessa together, but she knew they had shit to get over.
“So.”
Cam ignored him and stared harder at the news.
“So,” he said again. His mother had demanded he intervene, and though he hated to succumb to maternal pressure, anything was better than watching Cam sulk. Two days was two days too many.
“What?” Cam snapped.
I’ll bend you like a pretzel if you give me shit, boy. Mike forced himself to go easy on his lovelorn brother and relaxed his fists. “You’re going to be a dad. Congrats.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t sound too happy about it.”
From behind him, Colin made shooting noises. Mike tuned him out.
“I’m happy about the child.”
Pause. Mike waited.
Cam didn’t say anything more.
Mike swore to himself. “Hey, Colin?” Colin rushed over. “Get me my phone, would you?”
Colin rushed off to grab Mike’s cell and returned quickly. “Can I play a game, Dad?”
“No.” He took the phone and dialed Abby. “Can Colin come over to play for a minute? I need to talk to Cam about something.”
“God yes. They need help.” She hung up.
Pleased, he disconnected and ordered Colin to scram. “She has cookies.” Knowing Abby, she really did.
“Woo hoo!” Colin took off, and Mike turned to watch through the window as his little guy darted into the girls’ front yard. He knocked and disappeared inside.
“Just say what you need to say.” Cam groaned and leaned his head back.
He looked exhausted, but the sadness in his eyes was worse than annoying. It hurt Mike to see it. Time to pull off the gloves. Man, Cam so owed him for this. And so did their mother.
Mike took a deep breath and exhaled hard. “Okay. Bottom line. Your girl is high maintenance. Not Maddie-high maintenance.” They both knew Flynn’s fiancée was beautiful but high strung. “Vanessa likes control.”
“Can’t admit when she’s fucking wrong, either.” Cam snorted.
“So wait ’til she has the kid, then petition for joint custody. Stay friendly because you want to see—”
“What are you talking about?” Cam lifted his head off the couch and scowled “Custody? That’s my son or daughter. Mine.”
Mike shrugged. “You could always just do visitation. Let Vanessa raise the kid. You keep on track with your ten-year plan, because yeah,
I’ve seen that list, and it’s gonna be time-intensive. So you go on with life and we all get to be uncles while you do the distant dad thing.”
Cam blinked at him. “Are you drunk?”
“Look, you obviously want nothing to do with her. She’s bitchy, cold, and robotic. Like a statue until she opens her mouth.” He forced a chuckle, ready for it.
Cam took a while to get angry, but when he did, he was worse than their father. “What did you say?”
Mike grinned. Don’t knock out my teeth, Cam. Please. “But hell. She’s sexy. Long legs, a nice rack. You could always keep her around for a fuck now and—”
Cam exploded. He hit Mike’s cheek hard and took him off the couch to the floor. They crashed into the coffee table, but before Mike could roll Cam over, the fucker had gotten in two blows. One that truly rang his bell and a knee that would have unmanned him if he hadn’t shifted and taken a strike to the inner thigh instead.
“That’s it.” He knew his brother needed a fight. So he gave him one. Careful not to bruise him too badly, Mike fought back.
They grappled, broke two lamps, and cracked the already scarred table before Mike wrestled Cam to his belly and locked him into a full nelson.
“Damn it. Fuck off.” Cam rasped and struggled but couldn’t break the hold.
Mike panted, “You done now?”
“Done? Hey, at least I’m trying. You’re so damn afraid of a woman you won’t let your kid talk to her. Yeah, I saw you looking at Del’s ass. Please. Like I can’t see you’re scared.”
Mike tightened his hold but refused to take the bait. “Like I said, you done?”
“You’re such an asshole,” Cam yelled and tried to break free. After a few seconds spent tiring himself out, he stopped.
“Yep. I can do this all damn night. Look, fuckhead—that I’m actually calling you a fuckhead hurts me deeply. Vanessa loves you, but like you, she’s a moron. You smart people never do things the easy way. Yeah, she didn’t tell you she had a bun in the oven. Can you blame her? Her parents are distant. She’s a control freak. She fucking took birth control, and somehow she still managed to lose control of her own body. Think, Cam. She’s scared. She needs you. So she tells you. And then you’re pissed off?”
Cam remained silent, so Mike shook him.
“Ow. Cut it out!”
“Are you hearing me, little brother? Your girlfriend is scared and going it alone cause you’re too busy blathering about hurt feelings. Suck it the fuck up. She needs you, and you can deal with your shit later. Do you love her or not?”
“Of course I do. But it’s not me. She doesn’t care.”
“Oh? Then why is she always crying for you? Why is she so mad and sad and royally pissed at the world? The two times I was brave enough to go next door, she slipped in a few questions about you. The woman loves you. And for a chick like Vanessa, that’s saying something. Oh, simmer down. You know what I’m saying. She’s different. Your kind of different. Now get over there and fix what you broke. Or I’ll start thinking you’re more like Flynn and Brody than I thought.”
Cam muttered, “Now that’s just mean.”
They remained locked, Cam’s body unmoving in Mike’s grip.
Then Cam sighed. “You’d think I was avoiding her forever. It’s been two damn days, but fine. I’ll go talk to her…if you apologize to Del. Whatever you said really pissed her off. And you hurt Colin’s feelings. He likes her, Mike. She’s a nice woman. Different, yeah.”
But not my kind of different. Mike cleared his throat and slowly let Cam go. “Yeah, okay. I’ll apologize.” He’d been meaning to talk to her father ever since his mother had confided what Liam had really done. Maybe he could kill two birds with one stone. Not literally, Mike. You can’t do life, not with a kid at home. Ignoring his off sense of humor, he watched his brother dust himself off, looking only slightly worse for wear with a bruised cheek and fat lip.
“You look like hell,” Cam said and shot him the finger. “Nice face.”
“Please. You hit like a girl.”
“Well, this girl gave you a shiner. Now make sure you explain to Colin why fighting isn’t right.”
“Hell.”
Cam whistled as he neared the door. But at the doorway, he stopped, his hand on the knob. “Thanks, Mike. Even if you are an asshole. It’s nice to know you’re here when I need you.”
“Sure thing, Nancy.” He snickered at the look Cam shot him before his brother left.
Then, thinking about what he’d promised Cam, he jumped on his computer and Googled Del’s garage. Time to balance some scales. He cracked his knuckles and smiled, wincing when the motion pulled his right cheek.
“Friggin’ Cam and that sissy right hook.” The little bastard packed a punch. A pain, but a pain Mike could be proud of.
Chapter 21
Vanessa had just finished editing her first argument when someone knocked at the door. Colin raced to get it. When she heard Cameron’s voice, she froze. Not yet. I’m not ready.
He walked down the hallway, and she deliberately hunched over the table, not looking over her shoulder to see him in the hall. She heard him stop and talk to Abby. Then Abby and Colin were leaving and she had Cameron all to herself. Oh joy.
She glanced up when he sat down across from her. Confrontational. Not next to her, but across from her. The challenging gleam in his gaze put her on alert.
“Cameron.”
“Vanessa.” He stared at her, looking for what, she had no idea. His gaze traveled down her breasts to her stomach—what he could see not blocked by the table—paused, then moved up to her face again.
“Are you here to apologize?” She held her breath, thinking things might not be so difficult after all.
He just glared at her.
“Fine.” She stared at her monitor and started to read. “Dear Cameron. I’m sorry to have to write this, but—”
“What the hell are you doing?”
“I wrote something for you. I don’t want to get it wrong.”
“Jesus, Vanessa. Can’t we just talk to each other like two grown-ass adults?” He didn’t curse like that unless he was seriously annoyed.
She hurried to read what she had written with Abby’s help. Maybe it would be enough to sway him to hear her out fully. “I’m so sorry to have to write this, but we need to talk. I know you think I’m hard to deal with. I am. I tried telling you many times that I’m not like most people.” She swallowed hard and didn’t dare look over at him. “I try, but I can’t be that nice quiet girl next door. I’m assertive and take-charge by nature. So when we finally connected, I wanted to take charge with you.
“I like you a lot. More than I should. I’m almost certain that if I could love anyone, it would be you. I’m just afraid I don’t have that quality in me. It’s so hard to know if I’m emotionally stunted or just a woman who hasn’t found the courage to stand up and say what she thinks to be true.
“I like to be a hundred percent right. I admit it. I don’t like maybes or half-truths. Mostly for that reason, I kept the possibility of my pregnancy to myself. But I was also scared, because I don’t think I’ll be a good mother. And I really want to be.”
She stopped speaking and looked at him.
He was staring at her, his eyes narrowed. But she couldn’t read him.
“I stopped there. I was going to write more, but you surprised me.”
Cameron tapped the table, his gaze fixed to hers. “Is what you said true?”
“Have you ever known me to lie?”
He paused. “No. I haven’t. You avoid me when you don’t want to talk, but you don’t lie to me. I suppose if I’d asked if you were pregnant, you would have admitted you were.”
“If I’d known. I honestly only recently found out. I had my suspicions, but I didn’t want it to be true. Not because I don’t care about y
ou or like the thought of carrying your child,” she said quickly to forestall his protest. “I just never wanted to get pregnant like this. So messy, unstructured. I had a plan.”
“Five-year or ten-year?”
“Both.”
He crossed his ankle over his knee. “I work off a ten-year plan.”
She nodded. “So you know. I wanted to have children someday. I think. It was easier not to be afraid of failing when there was never a possibility of kids. I always used condoms with other men. Not that there were all that many. But I was careful.”
“You weren’t with me.”
“You’re…different.”
“How?” he asked quietly.
“You’re smart and funny. You make me laugh. You never make me feel like I’m an outcast or I’m odd because I’m direct. You accept that about me. Or you used to.”
“Vanessa, I told you I love you.”
She grew all tingly hearing it again. Then she scowled. “No. You said you loved me. Past tense. Right before you stormed away after I bared my soul to you.”
“Your soul?” He blinked. “You told me you were scared. You never once told me you loved or even liked me. Vanessa, I’m supposed to be your boyfriend. I’m going to be the father of your baby. Don’t you think you could share how you really feel about me? It’s enough to give a guy a complex.”
He sounded upset, but the slight smile on his lips eased her worry. Maybe, if she was very careful, she could salvage this. “In all honesty, I don’t know how I feel about you. I’ve never felt like this before for anyone. I don’t like when we fight. I, a woman known for reveling in confrontation, would rather turn away than hurt you. I don’t like that you scare me.”
“How do I scare you?” He remained seated, his gaze mesmerizing.
“You make me want things I probably can’t have. I tried breaking up with you, Cameron. I knew eventually we’d split up.”
“Why?”
She huffed and forced herself not to cry. Tears of rage, not sadness. “Haven’t you been listening? Because I’m me.”
He stood and walked right into her personal space, looming over her.